I was driving to the store tonight to get a few things we needed, and heard about the shooting at the military base in Texas, allegedly perpetrated by an army mental health specialist who's deployment was imminent. I didn't even know where to put all the incongruous pieces of information to fit in my brain. Army psychiatrist/mental health specialist. Suspect. Shooting. 12 dead. Army base. Friendly fire.....
I got to the store, picked up my few items, and was staring at the endless array of wine wondering which would go best with Grey's Anatomy. I struck up a conversation with the man next to me, who appeared to be equally perplexed in making a choice. "You just gotta pick one," he said. "Actually," I replied, "I'm looking for a blend I like." "Oh," he said, "what's it called?" I took a breath and replied, "Menage a Trois." Awkward laughter. "I saw that. It's right over here,"' he said. I thanked him, got my bottle, and self-checked out with my reusable bag.
On the way home, there was a piece on the radio with a montage of voices with opinions about the Afghan War. The Afghan War. The phrase struck me. "Geesh!" I thought. "How did it get to the place where my country is in two wars?"
Listening to the people's words, which varied from "Bring 'em all home" to "Get more troops in there and get the job done," I was struck by how complicated the situation is. Just read Kite Runner or A Thousand Splendid Suns. Is it our moral responsibility to help the people of Afghanistan? Probably. Do they want our help? Depends on if they are Taliban or not. I'm sure many Afghans want nothing to do with Americans, and can you blame them? I mean, really? Perhaps they would think it just that one of our own military psychiatrists would kill our own troops. There's simply no easy answer.
Still, I wonder what it would take for us all to have compassion for each other. I believe that there have been horrendous mistakes that no amount of military intervention or community rebuilding will eradicate. Nothing we can do will make it all better. Often, that is the case in life.
Instead of trying to fix things, or giving up, I believe we need compassion. Compassion for those whose lives have been ruined, both in Afghanistan and in our own country. Compassion for those who believe violence is their only refuge, and compassion for those who want peace at any cost. Compassion for the leaders in Afghanistan and the United States and the United Nations and the countries who don't want to be involved.
Most of us don't have access to the powers in charge of the wars--so we need to practice compassion with those close to us. Those local leaders who make decisions we agree with, and those who don't. Those relatives we get along with, and those who drive us just a little bit nuts. Those drivers who let us in, and those who flip us off. Compassion. It's not excusing behavior; it's practicing the quality of what flows out of our hearts, and minds, and mouths into the world.
Anger and bitterness leave nasty tastes behind, like a wine who's blend has soured. Compassion is a smoother blend--understanding, tolerance, and love mixed together in the broadest sense of acceptance. We don't have to love everything that happens, but it will do our souls good to love the souls who share our planet.
